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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A Discussion with "The Voice"

     Whenever people tell me they felt God telling them to do something, I always wonder “How do you know?”  I tend to overlook or overanalyze the subtle and sometimes it takes billboards smacking me upside the head for “A-ha” moments.  So I am trying to slow down and listen to the little voices and it is great, although I don’t always like what they say.  Took my little ones to the library like we do every Monday, and took a $5 bill inside because I knew I had some overdue fees.  When we were checking out the librarian said there were no fees, at least not on that card (they might be on my husband’s card).  A little puzzled we headed out to the parking lot, me still holding the $5 bill.  We walked to the car and I saw them.  2 old bicycles in a parking spot with all the owner’s worldly possessions on them and in tiny trailers that were being pulled by the bikes.  No one was around them, I suspect they belonged to two of many homeless men who spend time in the library.  I looked down and saw the $5 bill and heard “it”.  The voice that was telling me to go put it on the bike.  I stood there for a few minutes while the kids were putting seat belts on, looking between the money and the bikes, having a very unconvincing discussion with “the voice” about all the reasons I shouldn’t go put the money on the bike.

  “I can’t walk across the parking lot to do that”
  Why not
  “What if someone sees me and thinks I am taking something”
  “That won’t happen
  “What if they buy alcohol with it”
  “That’s not your decision
  “What if it blows away or they don’t see it”
  “Really? Just go do it”. 

     I got in the car and knew from experience if I did not listen to “the voice” I would be thinking for the next couple days about how I should have listened and  done it.  I drove over to the parking spot right next to the bikes and parked. And sat. And had another dialogue in my head because this was WAY out of my comfort zone.  I kept sneaking peeks to see where I could put it so they would see it but it would be too conspicuous.  Finally with a deep breath I  jumped out of the car and tucked it under a bungee cord that was holding a blanket on the back of one of the bikes and jumped back in the car.  As we were leaving the parking lot I stopped and said a prayer for the owners of those two bikes.  I prayed he would share the money with whoever the other bike belonged to, I prayed they knew they was someone who cared for them, I prayed they would use the money to get a bite to eat and I prayed for God’s peace to be around them and to provide for them.  At peace with the voice, we went about the rest of our night and I wonder….what can I take to the library for them next week?

What is the tiny voice telling you to do if you just would slow down and listen?

Friday, February 3, 2012

How it Started

     Never thought I would get to the point where I was writing down ideas for blog posts, but I actually have a notebook now.  Usually it's just a thought or two but I know I need to carry on with our story so here is what I consider the start....  On August 28, 2009, a good friend of mine had a Celebration of Life for her baby boy Jonathan, whom she was pregnant with at the time, who had Trisomy 13 and lived for a glorious 40 minutes after he was born.  You can read her blog here Jonathan's Journey .  She had a Celebration of Life for him where she asked people to bring gifts for a local ministry who has a huge heart for orphans all over the world.  Please go check them out here, Heart of the Bride.  So I brought some items, met some people from the ministry and was amazed at all they were doing.  I ended up holding a fundraising gathering for some of the orphans they serve and was so amazed at all the thoughtful people in my life who contributed.  Around Christmas time they had an annual gathering where you go and see what the ministry has been up to that year and what they are looking towards doing the next year.  I went and took my mom.  At this gathering they had a booth of children you could sponsor.  I walked by and a face jumped out at me.  She is a beautiful, little girl named Mapalo (her name means Blessing).  She was 3 years old at the time and lives at the Sara Rose Home (orphange) in Zambia, Africa.  I didn't think we would be able to spare the funds to sponsor her so I walked on.  Her smile stayed in my mind throughout the discussions and presentations.  I finally went back to the table to pick up her picture (they allow 1/2 and 1/3 sponsorships also) and panicked when I couldn't find it.  It was her, it was meant to be her!  I asked the lady where it was and she found it.  I stepped out in faith and said we would fully sponsor Mapalo.  I held her picture the rest of the night and was so excited to come home and tell my husband about her.  But there was one consistent thought in my mind that wouldn't go away.  One question I knew my husband would ask me as soon as I showed him the picture.  So with shaking hands, and a head saying I really did not want to ask this question, I walked up to the lady working the booth and asked.  "Can these children ever be adopted?"  I asked for my husband but I see now that God was planting a seed.  We discussed her situation and I learned Zambia is not a country who currently follows Hague Convention guidelines.  Basically, at least 1 of the parents has to live in Zambia for a minimum of 12 weeks before the government might possibly consider the parents adopting a child.  They have this in place to protect the children from trafficking and to prove the parents intent behind adopting, I understand, but it was totally unrealistic for our circumstances.  There are very few sucessful adoptions from Zambia by Americans.  So I had my answer and went home.  I came in the door, overflowing with emotions and so touched from seeing all this ministry does.  I showed my husband the picture of Mapalo and he said exactly what I knew he would say "When can we bring her home?"  I explained the situation and conditions and he listened.

     A few weeks later I was still thinking about it and we made an appointment to speak with our Pastor.  We met with him and explained how impossible it seemed.  I asked him "Why would God introduce us to this child if we were unable to bring her home?"  He smiled and said maybe it was His way of opening us up to the thought of adoption.  He told a story of a mission trip he went on and he desperately wanted to bring one of the children home.  It was not feasible but he believed it was God preparing them for the choices they would make down the road concerning adoption and their family.  I didn't see it, but OK, maybe we're just meant to sponsor her and to help her that way.  Although I thought we could help her a lot more if we could adopt her.  And being totally honest, I was just thinking about the adoption because I knew my husband would like to, I wasn't there yet.  God still had some work to do.

     That's all for now, but there is more to come.  We still fully support Mapalo (God is good) and she is growing so much!  Looking back I can see the path so clearly, but looking forward at the time, I had no idea.  How ignorant we are sometimes to God's greater purpose for us...
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