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Monday, October 29, 2012

Humorous Observations of the Adoption Process from an Introvert

So many people have asked me about the homestudy/adoption process, so I thought I would summarize it in this post, along with some other observations from the perspective of an introvert.  I embrace my introvertedness with humor and self-awareness and look upon every conversation I have with other people as a chance to educate them on different aspects of adoption.

1.  Be prepared for complete strangers to want to discuss infertility options and treatments with you.  One lady was asking about our infertility and what treatments we had undergone as our 2 biological children came running out of the garage.

2.  When you mention infertility is not a concern, be prepared for friends and family to be surprised and wonder why you want to adopt then.  I just explain building our family through adoption is what we know God is calling us to do.  Adoption is for anyone with a heart for children who need a forever family.

3.  Trying to explain adoption to your 3 and 5 year old can be rather enlightening.  Our 5 year old is praying for a brother and a sister so he can name them Batman and Robin, respectively and our 3 year old is throwing pennies in fountains praying for God to give our family 100 babies!!!!

4.  Asking our 12 year old his feelings on adoption is heart wrenching when he explains orphans are children whose families couldn't take care of them ( I had no idea he knew what an orphan was) and heart warming when he volunteers to share his and his brother's room with a new sibling, nevermind the fact that we have a spare room.

5.  Divulging and summing up your entire life story with all its ups and downs in a five hour home visit is emotionally exhausting and left me feeling emotionally drained.

6.  However, the self-awareness and epiphanys you receive from examining your life are well worth it.

7.  People will want to know the race and nationality of the child you are adopting and will let you know their feelings on the subject and that's OK.  I let them know my feelings right back and use the opportunity to advocate for all children who need a home, regardless of race or nationality.

8.  The homestudy process is basically opening your life.  Your desires, disappointments, challenges, successes, values, and faith is laid open for all to see.  Oddly enough, for as private a person as I am, this too I found very therapeutic.  To look at my life and relationships, challenges and hopes and to see how I was made into the person I am today.  To see how those experiences molded me whether their purpose was to give me empathy or to strengthen me, all things were in His plan for me.

9.  Woe be to the unsuspecting person who asks how the process is going if I've had a particulary emotional day, haha.  I think that just comes with the territory.  And gratitude to the person who lets me spill how I am feeling and truly listens, offering support.

10.  Once you start talking with people about your experience, you might be amazed how many people have been touched by adoption in one way or another.  This is truly amazing!  We have chosen to be totally open about our journey and welcome anyone who wants to discuss it and we have learned so much about friends and complete strangers to know that we are not alone in this journey!

     Overall the homestudy has been an indepth examination into every aspect of our family's life both for my husband and I and for our adoption worker.  We have learned so much from this process and I know every experience will help to better prepare us for the road that lies ahead.

     Coming soon......our profile book!

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